Shelley Lubben

Shelley Lubben

I was born in 1968 and grew up in southern California. I am the eldest of three children and was born a strong-willed child with a "spirited" personality. The first 8 years of life my family attended a good church where I learned about God and Jesus. As a little girl, I knew and loved Jesus very much.

When I turned 9 years old things changed in our family. We moved to Glendora and left the church and friends we knew and loved. My parents stopped attending church and our family drifted away from God and each other. I grew up not having much of a relationship with either of my parents, although they were not bad people. Much of our our family time was spent sitting in front of the television. Our family LOVED to watch television. I still remember most of the episodes from the 70's and 80's shows. The Love Boat, Three's Company, Star Trek, Twilight Zone, Chips, I love Lucy (our favorite), the Munsters, Carol Burnett show, Gilligan's Island, Bewitched, Bonanza, and Happy Days. I was practically raised on television and began to develop wrong and harmful thinking. My mother has often said, the tv was a great babysitter.

Growing up, I was different than other kids. I was highly creative and writing poetry and short stories at a young age. I was very frustrated because I had no place to channel my creativity energy. My parents didn't involve me in extracurricular activities and most of the time I was very bored. At 6 years old, I wrote, directed, produced and "starred" in plays I put on at my school. My first grade teacher saw the creativity in me. She told my mother that she was amazed by me and she wanted to see where I was when I was in my 30's. She believed I would become a Hollywood actress or movie producer.

I was also peculiar in the fact that I began masturbating and had sexual tendencies at a very young age. I was introduced to sexuality by a girl and her teenage brother when I was 9 years old and from then on had several sexual encounters with both girls and boys before age 18. Sex became confusing to me. Sex meant "love" to me as it felt good to be wanted by someone and receive attention but at the same time I felt dirty. I didn't recognize until later that I had been sexually violated as a child.
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